Yet another beginning ..

Piling upon clutter from long time..every time the mind says trash it, hearts says hang on. Be it relations or materials. They gathered slowly over a period of time and got along as if they were the inseparable part of my body..until they reached a stage where they began to hurt, it felt like burden. Heart was still arguing against the brain but I had to shut at least one, for peace of my life. Going with my brain for the first time...and it actually feels good. Being practical has its benefits. No attachments, no emotional bindings and no more soft corners. Lighter the luggage, happier the journey. My wardrobe is finally free of all the unwanted clothes..and so is my mind. Here I am, happy, peaceful and clutter free :)

Ashwini.

Void

Why is the scene of disposed baby cot near the dustbin so disturbing?

Ashwini.

Who Am I?

“Namashhkaar..dada ne bejha humhe..cleaning keliye”

“Dada ne aapko beja?? But dada khud aane wale the na?”

“Patha nahi didi..lekin dada ne humko call karke aane ko bola”

“Ek min, mein mere pathi se poochungi”

“Teek hai didi..mein wait karunga”

She then rings up her husband to inform about the guy who came for cleaning.

“Did you ask dada to come for cleaning?”

“Yeah.. he said he will reach in one hour”

“But there is another guy at the door, he says dada sent him.. Should I let him in?”

“May be dada sent instead of him..let him clean, send him to my office for payment”

“Ok”

While the guy is cleaning her suspicious mind provokes to ask:

“Aap bhi dada ke saath kaam karte hai?”

“Nahi didi..lekin mein dada ka office me cleaning ka kaam karta hoon”

“Dada kyun nahi aaye?”

“Nahi maloom didi..lekin dada ne bola agar mera kaam accha laga tho muje kaam pe rakhenge”

She is now confused..why is dada taking decision on her behalf? It’s her house and she must decide whom to hire. However, she decides to wait for her husband to return home. Once he is back, she pops up her doubt to him.

“So this dada’s guy will be taking care of cleaning henceforth?”

“Yeah”

“Why? Did he come to you to collect his money?”

“Ha ha ha.. yes yes”

“But this is not the guy you wanted, then how can he come?”

“ha ha ha”

“What’s so funny? Will you tell me what’s happening??”

“Ok, this guy told you dada sent him?”

“Yeah”

“And you were waiting for another guy called dada?”

“Yeah?”

“Ha ha ha”

“Grrrrrrrrr! Speak before my patience is out”

“(Still struggling to control laughter) Sweetheart, this guy and dada both are one and the same”

“Huh??”

“He comes to clean our office. He is a Bengali.. and since he addresses everyone as dada, so all of us also call him dada”

“So did he mean you sent him for cleaning?”

“Yes… he he”

“Arrrrrrrgh ! Then why didn’t you tell me this when I called you?”

“Just wanted to keep you confused for some time..ha ha ha”

“$*)(*&^%$##$%*()!@#$%^&*()”

“Ha ha ha (& the laughter continues….)”

Love

Ashwini.

A day in office...

Presenting a fun filled convo between me and my friend on a boring day. Excuse the slangs and shortcuts as this is exact copy paste of real chat on office communicator.

Me  : gm

          Knw wht? police calld our bus aside and flaged a fine

Him : Morning!

          for?

Me  : wht a morning !

          indicator was not working

          but hw thrilling,we were chased by the police car !!

Him : hehe!

          did you bus guy try to wade off the police

          by making dangerous maneouvers?

Me  : no

Him : did you bus guy dicchi** the police car like in the movies?

Me  : they were waiting right at Salam street beginning, whr we take turn to join passport

  

Him : did you bus guy drive in wrong ways?

Me  : and dis guy didnt show indicator,,they followed us almost 2-3 km

Him : did your bus guy cause any public property damages? 

Me  : why are most of the police guys r sooo handsome??

Him : Al Hootiba!!!

          did the police make announcement to pull over in mic?

Me  : lol.. astu scene illa

Him : was it just the siren then?

Me  : but u wil knw wen he flashes headlight while following u

Him : nothing like speed movie?

Me  : (Rolling eyes)

Him : how are you supposed to see light flashing in daylight?

Me  : this was like a melodrama..nt an action movie

          u wil knw, they dip n dim the lites

Him : so your driver went over his knee... and plead mercy?

          in slow motion...

          but still the police filed him...

          and you guys just watched?

Me  : he was scratching his scalp and begging

          wht else cud we do?

Him : so its a documentary or comedy rather than melodrama?

Me  : since thr was almost a love/crush story, u can call it a melodrama

Him : you mean your bus driver fell in lowe with the police cause they are handsome?

Me  : u forgot I was on the bus?

Him : why?

          why are women so cranky

    ?

         why...

Me  : if i was not in the bus, how wud i knw we were followed by the cops?

          size doesnt matter,

          it still remains a crazy silly Q

Him : why can't they just understand us...

          or just ignore?

Me   : all sympathies to u

           but

           now u hav to find ur moola***

           u dont even hail from mars

           its proven 

Him : as in... why am I alive?

Me  : hmm..very emotional question of ur biological existence that can be only answered                      by the chemistry between your parents

Him : WHICH THEY CLAIM CAUSE OF LOWE!!!

Me  : which resulted in side effects like me tolerating u

Him : EXCUSE ME!!!

           thanks for letting me know...

Me  : can i have the copy rites?

          it makes a gud post material

          phlezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

          u wil bcome fame-us

Him : no thanks

Me  : i take only the thanks part, u r welcome

Him : hogo lo****

And I ignored his last line and happily posted this convo here.. No, I'm not telling him he is posted here..as who would like to miss such a potential blog fodder? :D

Love

Ashwini

Terminology for my non Kannada readers:

Dicchi : Head to head hit

Moola : Origin

Hogo lo : Go away

Big Bang Theory :)

Couple of days ago..

Me : It is too hot today, I am sweating inside AC room.

Him: Turn on the table fan, it might cool you off.

Me :(Still sweating) This damn thing is not working, why don't we buy a new one?

Him: (Posing engineer) Nah, I will repair it.

Me : (Sweat and more sweat)

The days passes away and everyone forgets about the fan.

Fast forward to today..

Me : It is too hot today too..why is it me always who feel the heat?

Him: Err..let me repair the table fan right now..

Me : Throw it in dust bin, it never served in need.

He struggles for few minutes to repair. Tool box sees the light after ages and screws of all geometrical shapes spill on the floor. Dust is puffed out and fossils (read : dead cockroaches) are wiped off. Spare parts scatter around and detail study of dead fan is carried out. After some permutational and combinational arrangement, the fan is back in shape and the pride of achievement shines in his eyes. I wait with raised eyebrows to see the outcome and he turns on the switch with huge aspiration. The fan seems to work but before my Archimedes scream Eureka, it abruptly stops. Period.

Me : (Giving an “I told you” look) What now?

Him : (Hiding the embarrassed state) Let me try again..(and is still confused what to do)

I lose my temper, I mean, form couple of years, it has remained like this, useless, like a museum piece that is of no use. It always sat their at the corner teasing me when ever I sweat like a pig. I could not take the insult anymore and in all anger I bang the fan on the floor. He watches with open mouth and rushes to care the injured fan. And then the miracle happens. The fan starts to work, like a Phoenix !

I told you, big bang theory is true..its proven. If you still don't belive, hand me over your non working phone/laptop/any electronics and I will prove you. Well, I can't guaranty the same about non working people :P

Love,

Ashwini.

Only the donkeys work hard !

Chamki says so..every time I complain about my work, she laughs at me,calling me an ass. I had not realized this until I came across people who work smart than working hard. In this era of self centered life, every one is selfish and all that matters is success without hard work. Work is not worship anymore, money is. Very few people are left who minds the values and respect the positions they hold.

Last few days at work were tough with almost an impossible deadline which had no option, but to be met. It required me to work over heels with utmost dedication. Since it was a team task, it expected everyone to be involved as much with all seriousness. But to my surprise, I found my team mates curse the work load, create scene out of their crying skills and bag extra support to share their handful job. With all the drama, they got their work done, without missing their quality time on facebook/telephone. This, in spite of providing additional benefits of food, transport and other luxuries. I handled the same job, sacrificing the break time, ignoring all the personal tasks, forgetting all the pleasures of special Ramadan timings and working till insane hours. I of course had helping hands, but reached to them only when it was unavoidable. At the end, task was accomplished on time. With huge success, management was beaming with glee and clients were all happy faced. Each one on the task force were congratulated and appreciated. No one bothered who did what, but were equally entitled for a celebration.

This leaves me with clueless questions. Is there any value for hard work? If acting smart can get your work done, is there any need to actually work hard? Does anyone care about professionalism? What about ethics and sincerity? At the end of the day, does the inner voice appreciate your deed?

I can not change others. But I can at least show my dis respect to those over smart asses through my blog. Sigh ! Now I feel light. I know, I am not God, I like bitching, but of only those who are morally incorrect. If you can touch your heart and say you were sincere with your work, you have all my regards.

Love,

Ashwini.

Yummm !

To add color & flavor to a lazy Saturday,chef Ashwini tried her hands at a famous Uttara Kannada Dish Ennegai (brinjal in oil) for the lunch. Being normal is not her way,so she twisted the recipe,dashed with cherry tomatoes and baked tangy Brinjal Bemiasaal :) But what is the fun relishing it alone?? So here is she, presenting her creation, with puffy smooth chapatis :D Feel at home & feel free to serve yourself :D

                                           Marinated blue beauties with red chicks

 

Golden brown onions in sinful amount of oil !

Blue beauties and red chicks ready to be cooked (Arranged beautifully neat na?? You can also see her toes ! Good at cooking but bad at photography!)

 

Spicy,tangy,colorful,yummy Brinjal Bemisaal ready to be served

Can you resist drooling??? :D

In case you need the recipe, please do not ask her ! Somethings are meant to happen once in life time & even if she wishes, she can not re create !!!

Bon appetit :)

(This post is dedicated to one of my foodie friend who always makes me jealous of Pune & Gulbarga eateries :) 

From the kitchen table to blog-anniversary

(Absolute no connection between the kitchen table and blog anniversary, but I like to keep it that way. Now read on !)

“Hirekai?”

“No”

“Hagalkai?”

“Noo”

“Hmmm..I knw, its thondekai”

“No Raag”

“Ok,give me 4 options”

“ Look, I have not created any vegetable, you have eaten this God knows how many times, if you still don't recognize I will stop cooking this hence forth”

“Well, actually, honestly,really I know its name, its on tip of my tongue,but just that I stammer when you ask”

“Enough of all the bahaanas, admit that you don't remember the name”

“I wonder how I forget the names of veggis whenever you ask!!”

“Coz you are vegetably challenged, your ability to identify a vegetable is zero. One last time I repeat, this is bend...”

“Yeah yeah, I remembered, its bendekai,yessss bendekai, right? See I told you I remember”

“That is after I initiated,”

“No, I actually remembered, I was testing if you know its name”

“WHT?”

“Ha ha ha ha..”

“One hell of cheater you are, you better recite the name 100 times else I will not cook today!”

“Grrrrrrrrrr this is unfair, I told you I remember”

“Fine, I resign from kitchen”

“Noooo wait, Bendekai bendekai bendekai bendekai bendekai................”

After a couple of days

“Raag which vegetable is this?

“Bendekai”

“Wow...excellent..and this? (Pointing to other veggi)”

“Bendekai”

“What?? And this? (Now pointing a different one)”

“Bendekai !!!”

“What nonsense?? How do all vegetables look alike?”

“(Blinking innocently) They don't look alike, but after the last imposition, all I remember is only Bendekai !!”

“!!!!!!!”

And I collapse. So much of my effort to educate him with nomenclature of the greens is washed in drain. Readers, please don't doubt my cooking ability, just that he is vegetably challenged. I'm left with no choice but to try and try again.. hope one day he lives up to my expectations..sigh !!

Admist all the struggles of routine life, I forgot that its bit over a year since I started writing on this blog. Looking at the past, I feel satisfied at the year gone by.. Nothing much has been achieved and my to-do list still holds the same number of tasks as last year, but there were many incidents that touched my heart and rebuilt the depleting hope. Wish, when I write the same anniversary post next year, I see mentionable changes so that you readers will have better posts to read !

Leaving with the song that is right on my mind and apt to the situation :

Dard me bhi ye lab muskura jaate hai,

Beethe lamhe hame jab bhi yaad aate hai..

(Terminology for my non kannada readers :

Hirekai : Ridgegourd

Hagalkai : Bittergourd

Thondekai : Tindly

Bendekai : Lady's finger)

Love

Ashwini.

Angry Blog

Me   : Hey buddy,how are u?

Him  : Excuse me? Do I know you??

Me   : Ha ha..of course sweetheart, I'm your creator,your author, your fodder your..err reader too.

Him  : Ahh... I see , so you remember your duties.

Me    : How can I forget you? All the little fame I have today is because of you.

Him   : Fame?? Of owing a blog?? Any dumb ass can have a blog.. it takes a creative person to  keep it alive.

Me    : Come on, abandoned you for few days is true but you were always on my mind.

Him   : I'm not Rag to fall for your sugary words, you better beg my apology before I take my last breathe.

Me    : Last wha...are you crazy?? You are a blog, you cant die !

Him  : Jughead, being on internet, I have more info than you can digest. My co blogs (!) knows it all how to delete a blog !

Me   : (In sobs) But I love you, I have related you to my life, I have shared all worst part of life with you

Him  : Exactly this, you forgot me in your good times.. Did yo tell me you had been to water park, that you will be on kayaking next weekend , that you have swept along Dubai roads shopping to no end, that you partied at Yas Island?? Countless long drive funs and movie mastis are fir bhi excusable !

Me   : (Jaw dropped to ground) Were you stalking??? How the hell you know it all till bits?

Him : Your honor, you, are the one who boasted it with your friends & colleagues. You even shared the morphed pics. I'm not deaf and dumb.

Me   : Hey, they weren't morphed, I actually look good..You cant take revenge by humiliating me !

Him : What ever !!

Me   : Damn, that is my line, you cant let me down on own blog !!

Him : You deserve !

Me   : Stop that, you can't argue to insult me while my readers are reading you !

Him : Lol, do you have any?? Counting youself as a reader and forcing Rag to read me doesn't make yo famous.

Me   : But..

Him : Apologize before I reveal any more secret !

Me   : Listen,lets have a deal, I shall..

Him : Five, four, three,...

Me   : Ok, I give up , I am sorry.

Him : Two...

Me   : Wait, and I promise to update you regularly, even before sharing with any of my friend.

Him : Thats like a smart girl. So you oath to owe me your fame and name.

Me   : What nonsense???

Him : Fine, you face it .Dear All, this girl once had a boy friend who...

Me   : Noooooh nooooh..I said you make sense.. (wiping the sweating forehead)

Him : That's better, now you post this conversation as compensation of your gulit.

Me   : On my knees your highness, I will !!

Dear All, I am thus forced to present you the conversation I had with my own blog this evening. Hope this compensates my long time absence and in turn soothes my blog's ego!

Daane daane pe likha hai...

Scene : Lunch at office canteen.

Participants : All my bhooke colleagues.

Subject : The red spinach curry that I had packed for lunch.

Victim : Your's truly.

Audience : You,my dear reader, who else?

Lines in italics are “I think”

Story:

Guy 1 : “You should have not fried the coconut... It would taste better”

Me : “Hmmm....” (Hello? This is the way my mom cooks ok?)

Guy 2 : “You eat so much of salt everyday?”

Me : “Err.. is that too much? I felt okay” (Oh,else you would have gulped down two more servings?)

Guy 2 : “Reduce salt intake,its not good for health”

Me : (Just a smile, but I am watching him digging a spoon full of pickle)

Guy 1 : “Next time you do as I said, add fresh coconut and use coconut oil”

Me : “Thanks, I will remember” (So much of gyan after finishing half of my box contents)

Guy 3 : “I didnt like this” (Huh? What? And that is why you left that in plate? Damn, could you not try a bit before pouring in?)

Guy 2 : “Eat fresh vegetables, better for you”

Me : “Thanks” (Why the hell am I still listening to them?? Get up and GO)

All the while I was gazing at my box depleting at high rate and all I got was to relish one last spoon of my spinach curry.. with so much of advise of course !!

Ashwini.

A dhin-chak morning!

I’m prone to embarrassing accidents, which most of the times are self invited. Though completely innocent, some how I manage to bag people’s attention with my antics. I strongly suspect to be Gods favourite entertainment channel for he enjoys seeing me blush and dread in shame.

Now the story behind the title: Usually, my shining sparkling dresses see sunlight only on Thursdays as I find them apt as weekend wears to office. I take cab to commute and being one of only three girls, usually get the front seat, right behind the driver. So last Thursday, when I took the cab, I was completely unaware what my chini-mini dress would do to me. We must have covered half the way when the cab took a turn and now traversed facing direct sunlight. With exposure to sun rays, reflective sequence work around the neck of my dress shone like 100s of mini LEDs, instantly giving disco light affect within cab interior. Within fraction of seconds, cab was so brightly lit that everyone, including the driver were amused. As soon as realization hit me,I wrapped around the shawl and hid the glitters, yet, the damage was done,I could sense all my colleagues grinning & giggling at my situation... From then until I reached my workstation, my head hung low & I dared not to face any of the chuckles. My friends teased for reminding the pub nights and wondered if I work part time there!

Hmm... as I said, I attract troubles. But its okay, they add a special touch to an otherwise boring day. And as Raj says “bade bade deshon me chote chote bath hote rehte hai” Sahii hai na? :)

Ashwini.

Love is in the air

 “Its long time Rag, we haven’t done anything romantic”
 “Hmm…can I send money from National Bonds to Indian acc?? Exchange rate is pretty good”
“Rag I am talking about romance”
“Hmm…next due for rent is soon approaching”
“Rag? Are u even listening to me??”
“Yes?? What did u say? “
“Its boring, can we do something interesting? Like long drive or a walk?”
“Let’s go out for dinner, Im hungry, Food lands will do?”
“Yippee…will do, will go for a long walk, hand in hand later, ok?”
“(Silence)”

So we go to this restaurant, find a corner cozy table, low lit with swirl of soothing music from background. Rag takes his seat, not minding me waiting for him to pull out a chair & starts studying the menu. I ignore it once and look greedily at him for some mushy moments. He concentrates on the menu, as if it were a newspaper. I wait for him to look up, as I know he finally comes to me for suggestions.

“So a tomato soup for you and noodles?”
“Rag, look into my eyes, as u did during courtship, without blinking for hours”

He does, for hardly 5 seconds, and then

“Its smoky here, my eyes burn!”
“Huh?? Try Rag, it feels good to go back to those days”
“Pass on the chutney please; let me have some pappad until food is served”

I gasp & hold anger and watch him munch on pappads like a hunger stricken cow. I wait until he wipes off his plate clean and try again getting him back to mood.

“How do I look in this dress?”
“Good” (Had he even noticed?)
“Good only?”
“Hmm…” (This man is miser with compliments)
“Why do you want me Rag?”
 “Umm… well you cook so well & you take good care of me”
“What? Even a maid can do that... why me?”
“But she can’t be beautiful like you”
“Hmm… you got a point… have I pulled down some weight in past 2 months?”
“Yes” (Man, get my point, I’m longing for something)
“Are you sure?” (With anticipation of his attention)
“Mumumum… hmmm” (Nibbling over last bite of what ever remained)
“Rag, am I your favorite?”
“Yes, shall we have our food?”

Who ever said marriage kills romance, is right! And when it comes to romance Vs food, the later always wins! Hmm… so much for the emotional me With this hopelessly romantic partner, I give up further ideas of walk in cool breeze, hand in hand and follow his way to home …

Ashwini.

A=B+C

Here is a story of 3 friends, say A, B & C, working for a same company,commuting through same transport (aka bus) everyday. Here is an incident that happened today and almost everyday through their travel.

Just for introduction, B & C are from same place of origin. A hails from another world and hence is a kind hearted girl with courtesy enough to care her fellow travelers, which in turn puts her in embarrassment sometimes. I sit back and let the plots take over now:

Plot I:

A & B reside in same building…A is driven to bus stop by her sweet hubby while B usually walks till there. Days when B is late, A offers her a drop to bus stop and thus saves her trouble from taking alternate transport.

Plot II:

C is a messy lady who often forgets to leave office on time. Often A calls her and makes sure she is in bus on time.

So A plays an important role in lives of B & C by helping them on time…and hence is a good friend of them. At least this is what she assumes.

Plot III:

One such day when B was late, A picks her on the way and drops her to bus stand. They keep chatting until the bus comes. A gets into bus first and takes first empty seat and expects B to sit next to her. Betrayer B ditches A & sits next to C & chats away to glory, completely ignoring A. Once they reach office, B & C greet each other and walk there way. A stands there blinking alone, not knowing how to console herself.

Later she decides to put this on her blog and thus, soothe her agony

Ashwini.

ZZZZzzzzz...

It’s been a low profile week after New Year bash. I still have less work at hand and more time at office, well, to snooze! I wonder how, I, who pleaded for some relief from heavy workload, now sulk for having none... It’s true; you always realize what you had only when you miss it… After rushing early morning to reach office on time, all that I do until evening is reading blog, newspapers, chatting with friends on office communicator, mail all long lost friends, disturbing Rag & Chamki, playing bubbles & finally snoozing, with eyes open!

This reminds me of then embarrassing but now feel funny situation. This longs back to my Pre University days when I was still a serious studious student. Physics lecture in class and Electric Current, Ohms law, magnetism etc were the topics. He was one damn boring, expressionless non interesting lecturer and only girls in first row could hear him speak. Due to this lullaby effect and lunch before his class, I never know when my eyes shut close. I was wide awake when girl next to me poked & to my horror I see the lecturer staring at me in anger is shooting a question “Can you tell me the SI unit of current??”

 By now I was sure he had seen me blissfully sleeping and hence wants to humiliate in front of the whole class. Sense of all the 60+ eyes watching me in doubt scared me to sweat. Not knowing what to answer, hopelessly I blinked when my friend in back seat whispered MPR MPR… Unaware of the term, I blankly repeated loud what I heard. He paused for a moment sulking over lost prey and asked me to sit. Saving my face felt reliving and I passed on a warm thank you smile to my friend. Later she told me it was Ampere and not MPR and we laughed out loud realizing the way we fooled the lecturer unknowingly to save our image!!

After many years of this incidence, I still remember this, as it repeated many more times, but me being the spectator :D Even while I type this, one of my colleague friends is swaying in nap. Giggling ear to ear on his situation, I happily found topic for my blog post

Ashwini